Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sweet-talking sandwiches

There's a deli near my office where I go when I'm having a bad day and need to hear a little sweet-talking. For months I kept hearing about some "Honey Sweetie Deli" with its allegedly delicious tri-tip sandwich. I thought that was a stupid name for a deli until I went there myself and finally realized that was merely a nickname bestowed by its lunch-goers, along with variations like "honey baby deli."

No one actually knows or cares what the real name is. What we do know is that when we're in the sandwich line, there's a 94% chance that someone behind the counter will call us "honey" and/or "sweetie" repeatedly throughout the brief ordering encounter. Example: "What can I get for you, honey? Great choice, sweetie--do you want that toasted? By the way, I love your shirt."

Needless to say, you walk out of there glowing and feeling like a million bucks. Now, I've gone back for the turkey cranberry sandwich enough times to know that they're not very selective with the sweet-talking. As long as you have a pulse, you'll probably be buttered up. But even though you know they're cheating on you with everyone else in line, when it's your turn, it still feels glorious. I'm tempted to approach the deli owner with a social psychology study to see what incremental impact the name calling has on purchase behavior.

Anyway, this all makes me wonder why we don't employ more random acts of sweet-talking in our daily lives, particularly when dealing with ornery clients. "Sure thing, sweetie--I'll have those TPS reports to you asap. Thanks for your email, honey muffin." Too often at work we're the victims of rudeness and impatience, and I'm sure sometimes we are the instigators (by "we" I mean everyone except me). We already know pet names work splendidly in relationships, so why not spread the love to platonic friends and strangers?

I challenge myself and you all to try it and report back on the intrinsic and extrinsic rewards (or consequences). If you're feeling particularly confident/adventurous and want to deviate from the more generic honey/sweetie/baby options, here are a few of my favorites:

baby cakes
apple of my eye
carebear
cheeky monkey
huggalump
shnookums

Good luck and thanks for reading, buttercups!

5 comments:

  1. Your headline tricked me into thinking that this was going to be a blog about food - "Rushan" food, I was hoping. Thanks (for nothing), my little piroshky.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I prefer using "sweet tits", but learned the hard way that it's not work-appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha. try using "my little piroshky" instead. that one shows promise..

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm convinced their sweet talk is the only reason I get my lunch from there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My favorites:

    (the white-trashier, the better)

    sweet pea

    sugar britches

    snuggle shorts

    pudding pants

    ReplyDelete